Monday, May 28, 2007

"On The Lot" Round of 18

Each of the remaining 18 directors will show a one-minute comedy movie. I will rate each one from zero to four stars, in half star incriments. The home viewers will vote on each movie, and the three directors whose movies got the lowest amount of votes will be cut on tomorrow's Box Office Results Show.

The judges this week are Carrie Fisher, Garry Marshall and this week's guest judge, D.J. Caruso.

The first one up is Adam Stein. His short is called "Dance Man". I gave it 2.5 stars. Fisher thought it was a very charming movie. Caruso agreed. Marshall agreed with the rest because it had a beginning, middle and end.

Director #2 is Carolina Zorilla De San Martin from Spain. The title of her short is "Deliver Me". This was HORRIBLE, especially the first part of it, where a lady is put in a hospital bed. That is a huge insult to those who been lying in hospital beds. It was not funny at all. Therefore, my score is ZERO STARS. Fisher thought it was terrific. Caruso loved the movie's visuals. Marshall liked it.

The third one up is Andrew Hunt, with "Spaced Out". This was WAY better than the last one. The alien characters throwing up on the policeman was just brilliant and hilarious. For that, I gave it FOUR STARS! Fisher suggested that he do merchandise with the aliens. Caruso liked it, as did Marshall. But Marshall thought barfing wasn't his first choice for a movie.

The fourth director is Kenny Luby with "Wack Alley Cab". This was terrible on all accounts. Not only was it not funny, the graphics IDing people was totally unnecessary and intrusive. ZERO STARS. Fisher didn't see where this was going, and thought the short was not a success. Caruso thought he was watching a late-night spoof, and agreed with Fisher that it wasn't that funny. Marshall thought the short was wacky, but like Fisher, got lost following what was going on.

Fifth is Hilary Graham with "Bus #1". The story where the lady was trying to go to the bathroom was hilarious! But I wanted to see the lady literally try to go to the bathroom. My score is 3.5 stars. Fisher was disappointed at urine being in the story. Caruso didn't like the subject, and Marshall thought it wasn't her best work.

Sixth is Marty Martin with "The Big Bad Heist". This guy, IMHO, BLEW IT BIG TIME. This was nothing more than a MOVIE PREVIEW, not a COMEDY SHORT. ZERO STARS. Fisher thought that the preview was well done, even though she wanted to see an outright film. Caruso saw potential in the idea, and he wanted him to be more courageous when doing his next film.
Marshall said he liked it because there was no barfing or urinating.

At the lucky seven spot is Will Bigham. Speak of the devil, the word "lucky" is in the title-
"Lucky Penny". The spots where the man runs into bad luck because of rubbing the penny was freakin' hilarious! FOUR STARS! Fisher thought it was a great silent film. Caruso thought it resembled Buster Keaton, and loved the piano shot. Marshall thought the director and the actor were great! Tonight is her young daughter's first birthday, and he considers her to be his "Lucky Penny"!

Director #8 is Jessica Brillhart with "....To Screw In a Light Bulb". The idea was admirable, but I only laughed at the end part. I gave it 1.5 stars. Fisher thought it was cute, but she didn't really get it. Caruso thought the movie had a poor concept that wasn't executed well, and he got confused. Marshall thought the film had the punchline, but it didn't quite deliver.

The ninth director is Mateen Kemet with "Soft". I thought the movie was good, especially the part where the man in the blue shirt got KOed by the lady so that she could get his wallet. The only real problem I had was "Soft" appearing at the start, which I thought was unnecessary. My score is three stars. Fisher thought he did a good job, but wanted the crowd in the movie to be more edgy, and Caruso thought the same way. Marshall thought some of the people in the mob looked like they came from a chess group.

The tenth one up is Claudia La Bianca with "Blind Date". I loved the part where the lady went
into the MEN'S bathroom to take a dump and then meet her date! But I wished there had been a lot more funny material overall. I gave it 2.5 stars. Fisher thought it was good, visual-wise, but she sensed that comedy wasn't this director's forte. Caruso thought that the film got off to a good start, but it chickened out by going for the farting joke, and he thought the joke was unnecessary. Marshall thought the director was an artist, and thought comedies are tricky.

#11 is Jason Epperson with "Getta Rhoom". I only thought it was funny at the end, so I gave it only one star. Fisher didn't get the notion that the guy was nerdy, and also thought she was offended by the film. Caruso thought the character was cheap and uninspired. Marshall thought the humor was pitch dark.

In the #12 spot is David May and "File Size". I liked the idea of an angry worker, but there wasn't quite enough humor. I gave it two stars. Fisher thought it was very well made. Caruso was intrigued by the directing, but he suggested that there be better subject matter for the next time. Marshall wanted the actors to do more.

In the dreaded #13 position is Zach Lipovsky with the short "Danger Zone". It wasn't very funny, but I thought the effects involved in the chain reaction of disasters was very cool. I also gave it one star. Fisher thought it was awesome because of the way the effects were contained in a single shot. Caruso thought it was brillant. Marshall admitted he couldn't do what this director did.

Director #14 is Trever James, and he did "A Golf Story". There wasn't that much to it. I only gave it half a star. Fisher thought it was well made, but didn't get the idea. Caruso thought it was smart to spoof a certain sport. Marshall thought the satire was great.

Next is Shalini Kantayya with "Love in the Year 2007". I personally thought it was wise to do a comedy around a love story, since love stories tend to be comedies all the time, but it wasn't too funny. I gave it one star. Fisher thought she had the beginning, middle and end parts right, and thought it was very ambitious. Caruso thought the acting wasn't strong enough. Marshall agreed with me that the humor wasn't strong enough.

#16 is Phil Hawkins from England. His short is titled "Please Hold". I loved the phone part, but it was too eerie for my tastes and there wasn't quite enough humor. I gave it two stars. Fisher thought the short had a distinctive look, but it was average. Caruso thought the 911 joke lasted longer than it should have in the short. Marshall thought the story was a little off in the short.

Next is another foreigner, Shira-Lee Shalit from Johannesburg, South Africa. The title of her short is "Check Out". It was only funny at the end, so I only gave it a star. Fisher thought it was great to take a typical dry airport thing and turn it into a striptease act. Caruso and Marshall thought it was good, as well.

Sam Friedlander has the night's final film, "Replication Theory". The frequent farting during the movie was hilarious! I gave it FOUR STARS! Fisher thought it was great, and saluted the director for making farting classy. Caruso thought the film was very well shot, and Marshall thought the farting was made fancy in the film.

The three people who I would cut are Carolina Zorilla De La Martin, Kenny Luby and Marty Martin, with Luby being the most likely cut. Hilary Graham, based on what the judges said to her, is also in trouble.
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